The Thrill of the Chase

Why do we always want what is not available? Why is it so attractive? Is it for the thrill of the chase?

After weeks of asking me out, Sbu Langa – the eligible bachelor – finally gave up. He accepted that I was not available. At first, his decision had been welcomed fresh air to my life, but when I saw him a few weeks later, on TV, in the arms of supermodel Cynthia Brown – whose long legs went on forever – I realised that I had made a mistake. I wanted to be with him. I was suddenly attracted to him.

Suddenly, many questions went through my mind. Why had I rejected him all of those months? Why had I not felt even a little of what I felt today? Did I want him now because he was unavailable? I placed my head in my hands, feeling frustrated as I didn’t have answers to my many questions.

To clear my head, I went for a jog. When that did not help, I went shopping. Hours later, I returned home with many bags of retail therapy and a maxed credit card, but my frustration remained.

Thando helped me unpack my new clothes. ‘Wow, nice shoes,’ she said as she laid a pair of blue strappy sandals to the side. ‘And I thought I was the shopaholic.’

‘I’ll probably have to return half of these tomorrow,’ I said. But the dress I had in my hands, I would keep, I decided. It was a tight fitting dress that fitted the contours of my body perfectly.

‘I see that retail therapy didn’t work. What’s the matter?’ She grabbed a new box of shoes and tried them on.

‘It’s Sbu,’ I said.

‘What about him?’ She looked down at her feet and admired the new pair of shoes. ‘By the way I’m keeping these.’ She stood and walked around the room.

I shrugged, thinking, whatever. I didn’t care about the shoes. I wanted advice on Sbu. ‘I think I might actually like him.’ I sat down exasperated.

She raised an eyebrow. ‘I told you that you were making a huge mistake by rejecting him. He’s such a catch. I knew that he wouldn’t be in the market for long.’

‘If only I’d listened to you.’ I’d never said those words to Thando before. As a result, she smiled.

‘I need to know that you really like him. That this is not because you miss the attention or that you’re attracted to him because he’s now with someone else.’

I was silent for a moment, deep in thought. ‘I’m not sure.’

‘Well, I need you to be sure. You wouldn’t want to lead the guy on only to break his heart. He really likes you. One word that you reciprocate his feelings and he’ll dump that Amazonian giant like she was yesterday’s news and rush back to you.’

I didn’t believe Thando, but for a brief moment, I pretended that Sbu adored me and that he would dump the supermodel like a hot potato for me.

We continued sorting the pile of clothes and shoes into two. One pile I would keep and the other I would have to return. It helped me forget about Sbu, even if for a moment. I said a small prayer. God, please don’t let me run into him ever again. Because I knew that the next time I did, I would make a total fool of myself.