Awkward Crush

When I got home that afternoon, I remembered why we were friends. Thando stood in the lounge with a bunch of flowers and boxes of chocolate. One of her hands was hidden behind her. She’d taken the trouble to do the shopping for the dinner we were having with her boyfriend and her new crush. ‘I know these are your favourite,’ she said. Then she moved her hand from behind her to reveal a pair of pink stiletto’s from Zara that I’d been eyeing for a month now. ‘For you.’

How could my heart not melt after that? I reached for the shoes. ‘I love them. You know me so well,’ I said. I immediately tried the shoes on. They were a perfect match. I decided to ignore the boxes of chocolate. I didn’t want to upset my diet; I’ve been so good the past few days, even though the scale was still static.

‘So will you help me prepare for tonight’s dinner? Please?’

I nodded. ‘Sure. I’d love to.’

She jumped and gave me a big hug. ‘Yeah! Well let me get ready for the dinner then. I need to do my hair and my nails—’

I grabbed her handbag from her. ‘I don’t think so. You are not going anywhere. If I can’t get ready, neither can you. You’re gonna stay and help with the dinner.’

She looked at me with sad eyes that were starting to fill with tears. The girl knew how to manipulate me. And I let her. ‘Fine. Go.’

‘Thank you, thank you. I love you.’ She left me standing there in my fabulous new shoes, thinking about what I would prepare for the big dinner. Whatever it was, it would be a healthy meal. Now the trick was to make it interesting.

I managed to get the dinner prepared on time, of course it helped that Ed was there. We cooked while Thando and Matt chatted in the lounge. They didn’t lift a finger to help. But that was probably for the best, we didn’t want the food ruined for our guest.

Steve and Sbu arrived. I was a little disappointed. Thando had described Sbu as tall and handsome, well he was tall, but he wasn’t that good looking, which meant he was way richer than Steve. That’s the only reason Thando would trade him for Steve.

We all sat and enjoyed our dinner. Thando kept smiling and looking suggestively at Sbu, who paid no attention to her. She tried everything to get his attention, but nothing worked. Finally, Thando decided to ask him directly what she wanted to know. ‘So, Sbu,’ she said, reaching for her boyfriend’s hand. ‘Are you seeing anyone? I don’t ever remember reading about your girlfriend, who must be really good looking.’

‘I’m actually not seeing anyone at the moment. I’m just too busy,’ Sbu said.

Thando was unable to hide her smile at that response.

‘What about you, Qaqamba? Are you seeing anyone,’ Sbu asked.

I was surprised that he called my full name. No one called me by my full name anymore. I shook my head. ‘I’m single at the moment.’

Ed coughed, hiding laughter. He knew that Thando liked Sbu.

‘Maybe we could double date,’ Steve said.

‘No, I don’t think so,’ Thando said.

Steve looked at her. ‘Why not?’

‘Because Q is…’ She looked at me for assistance. I offered her none. I was enjoying seeing her squirm. ‘Q is not looking for anything serious at the moment.’

‘Neither am I,’ Sbu said. He winked at me.

Ed leaned towards me and whispered, ‘This is a little awkward.’

Things were turning upside down for Thando. She’d organised the dinner so that she could find a way to connect with Sbu and now her crush was hitting on me. Talk about awkward. I decided to put an end to it.

‘Who would like desserts,’ I asked. I stood and grabbed the plates from the table and went to the kitchen to get dessert. Thando joined me.

‘Oh, this is a disaster,’ she said. ‘Maybe he’s afraid of Steve. Maybe that’s why he’s ignoring me.’

‘Thando, he’s not interested,’ I said. ‘Leave the poor man alone. If you don’t, your boyfriend is gonna push him to me.’

‘Fine,’ she said. But I could see in her eyes that she was trying to come up with another plan to garner Sbu’s interest.

I shook my head. It was not my problem and I wasn’t going to make it mine. I served everyone desserts. I was sure I’ll never see Sbu again, but I was wrong. 

Good Problem

Thando came running into my office. She stopped at the door when she realised I had a meeting with my writing team. She was out of breath and she looked like she’d just seen a ghost.

I lifted my head when I saw her.

‘Excuse me, Q, I need to talk to you,’ she said. ‘It’s an emergency,’ she added, trying to get my attention.

I excused myself from the meeting, then led her to a conference room and closed the door behind us.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘I need your advice,’ she said. She appeared worried.

I wasn’t sure whether I should be worried or not. ‘I’m listening.’

‘Steve, you know Steve…’

‘Your boyfriend, Steve?’

‘Yes, that’s him. He decided it was about time I met the rest of his team, including his business partner.’

‘That’s a good thing, isn’t it?’

‘Yes… no… I don’t know,’ she said, exasperated.

‘If he trusts you with his business, it means he’s taking your relationship serious. So what is the problem?’

‘His business partner is the problem.’

Ed poked his head into the conference room. ‘Hey, Thando, what are you doing here? Finally decided to join the workforce?’

Thando frowned. ‘Please. Me? Working?’ She laughed for a short time as if that was the most ludicrous idea she’s ever heard, then she started worrying again. She grabbed Ed by the hand and closed the door behind him. ‘Come in. Two heads are better than one.’

‘So what’s up?’ Ed asked.

Thando started telling us her story.

Earlier that day at Steve’s Office

Thando waited for Steve’s team to join them in the boardroom. The two of them were early. They sat in the large room alone. Thando was nervous. She didn’t know what to expect. Would these people hate her? Would they feel like she was imposing on them? Would they tell her she knew nothing about business? She didn’t care; this was an opportunity for her to make a name for herself.

But what happened next was like nothing she had expected. A tall, handsome man walked into the boardroom. Thando was sure he was lost. He didn’t belong in the boardroom; he belonged on the glossy pages of a fashion magazine. But what happened next was weirder still.

Steve stood and welcomed the handsome stranger to the meeting. ‘Sbu, I’m glad you could make it,’ he said. He then proceeded to introduce Thando to the hot stranger named Sbu Langa.

Sbu took Thando’s hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed the back of her hand. His hands were soft and his lips were warm. His lips stretched into a smile.

Thando felt a pleasant sensation in her tummy. She was sure that Sbu was taunting her. She found herself wondering what his tender lips tasted like. She started imagining kissing him and then she came to her senses. She moved her hand away from his and held on to the large, sturdy desk, not trusting her legs to hold her up anymore.

Back at Q & Ed’s Office

‘So you see what the problem is?’ Thando asked us after telling her story.

I shook my head, as my mouth was full of delicious biscuits I’d grabbed from a tray on wheels standing at the corner of the boardroom. I don’t know why they always insisted on serving biscuits to meetings.

‘I can’t fall for Steve’s business partner. What kind of a person would that make me?’ Thando lamented.

‘A whore,’ I said.

She shook her head. ‘No, that’s not it.’

‘A gold-digging whore?’ Ed said.

She shook her head again. ‘No.’

She stood and started pacing. ‘Aaaaagh! You guys are not helping! I came here for your help, for your insight!’ she screamed, exasperated.

Ed and I laughed.

‘Why don’t you get Q to take him out of your hands?’ Ed suggested.

I looked at Ed and frowned. ‘Excuse me?’

‘It’s a great solution. Q is single,’ Ed continued, ignoring me.

‘I’m sorry, Q, I can’t. If it were any other man…’ Then she was silent, thinking. Her eyes widened. ‘Q could take Steve out of my hands. Ed, it’s a brilliant idea!’

‘I’m sitting right here people,’ I said, but I was ignored.

‘No ways, Thando, you can’t shove your leftovers to Q,’ Ed said.

‘Why not? You said it yourself, she’s single.’

‘Again, I’m right here.’

Thando rushed to my side and squeezed my shoulders in an embrace. ‘Please, Q.’

I pushed her away from me and stood. ‘Absolutely not. This is you problem. Now you want to dump Steve, who only weeks ago, you were professing your love to and now you want to date his business partner and friend. This is a new low, even for you.’ And if Sbu was broke, you wouldn’t even like him, I wanted to add, but didn’t.

Thando sat and grabbed a biscuit from the plate. ‘I had a feeling you might feel this way, so I invited them both for dinner at our place.’

‘What?’

She smiled, sheepishly.

‘And who’s going to prepare this dinner?’ I don’t know why I asked, because I knew the answer to that question.

‘You know I can’t cook,’ Thando said. ‘But you two can. Please, I’m begging you.’

‘No,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ Ed said at the same time. ‘Of course, we’d love to. I’ll invite Matt also.’

I looked at him and shook my head. I stormed off. At times, I got tired of Thando freeloading on me. I sometimes wondered why I even put up with her. She paid the rent only when she wanted to. She never went grocery shopping. I was expected to do everything. I didn’t even know why I was friend with her.

Different Strokes

Matt was now a big part of our lives. We enjoyed his company, but we still had to get used to his straight talk or what Thando called bluntness.

For example, this one day, he walked into out apartment with a magazine in hand and said, ‘Thando.’ He looked straight at her.

Thando ignored him.

That didn’t discourage him. He continued, ‘I see you’ve made the cover of You magazine… again for…’ He turned the magazine and looked at the picture of Thando. ‘Why are you in the cover again?’

Thando smiled. ‘I’m a celebrity,’ she said.

‘But you do nothing,’ he said.

‘Think of me as the Paris Hilton of South Africa,’ Thando said.

‘And that’s a good thing?’

At this point, I decided to rescue Thando, but I might just have made matters worse.

‘Ed and I are also featured in the article. Check the friends’ corner,’ I said.

‘Well, at least you two do something,’ Matt said.

I decided to let it go. But not Thando.

‘Matt, you are jealous because you’re just a personal trainer and you’re always wearing your gym clothes, while I look fabulous all day and am on the news 24/7,’ Thando said.

Matt shrugged. He didn’t seem offended.

I had a feeling the two would get on like a house on fire.

Thando was not wrong about Matt’s wardrobe. He wore his gym clothes all day long, I was sure he slept in them as well. This was a problem for us. You have to understand that all of us in the group were fashion fanatics. Ed and I worked for a magazine, and Thando, well… she was a socialite. Ed was the fashion editor and I was the features writer.

We were trying to find a way to get Matt out of his gym gear. Ed suggested that we do a feature on him, and a photo shoot. Ed thought that if he saw how good he looked dressed up, he would adopt it, change his wardrobe. I didn’t think it would work; the man seemed set on his ways.

Thando heard about our plan and she was furious.

‘I’ve never been featured on your magazine and now you want to feature Mr I-speak-my-mind? Who, by the way, has zero fashion sense!’ Thando said, louder than it was necessary.

I couldn’t repeat what Matt had said. Thando did nothing and our magazine was a reputable magazine, not a tabloid.

‘Thando, you know I do features focusing on health and well-being, so mostly I deal with trainers, dieticians, etcetera,’ I said.

She turned to Ed. ‘And what’s your excuse?’

Ed looked at me for assistance. I shrugged.

‘I usually work with models. I’m sorry I don't make the rules,’ he said.

Thando stormed off to her room. Moments later, she opened the door and poked her head out. ‘The next party I get invited to, I’m taking neither of you as my guest.’ She banged the door behind her.

‘So childish,’ Ed said.

Every city had women like Thando. Every city needed them. Women who did absolutely nothing, yet are still called celebrities. They’re invited to every party. They’re featured on numerous magazines and talk shows. People loved to hate them, yet they still spoke about them. They brightened people’s dull lives. And when they were as controversial as Thando, well, that was a cherry on top; it made people even more interested.

Unknown Past

‘When are you gonna tell Handsome Mat that you’re attracted to him?’ I asked Ed.

He ignored me and continued watching TV.

‘Try never,’ Thando said. ‘He’s shy and he thinks Mat is too handsome for him.’

‘You told her that? I thought I was your bff.’

Ed turned to me then. ‘I like him but I’m just afraid.’

‘Of what?’ I asked.

‘He’s just so hot and I’m afraid that he’ll reject me,’ Ed said.

I was surprised. ‘You must really like him. You’ve never been shy before.’

‘If I may interject here,’ Thando said. ‘Before you marry him off to a total stranger, you might want to think off… I don’t know… the fact that we know nothing about Matt. Like why did he leave Cape Town? Maybe he was in a gang and things went south, so he was forced to move, to run, to hide.’

Thando, always one with an over active imagination.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Thando,’ I said.

‘He’s pretty cagey about why he left Cape Town. Maybe he’s married and has kids.’

‘Maybe he was a stripper,’ I said. We laughed.

‘Or a pimp.’ We laughed. ‘All I’m saying is that we need to check him out. I don’t want to see Ed broken hearted again,’ Thando said.

That, I couldn’t argue with.

‘We need to find out more about him,’ I said. ‘Because I can see that you like him.’

‘No guys,’ Ed  said. ‘We’re not going to go dinging into Matt’s past. If he wants us to know something, he’ll tell us.’

‘But, Ed…’ Thando complained.

‘No! Absolutely not!’

I wanted to protest, but Ed said, ‘That’s final.’

Thando and I looked at each other. We nodded. Ed didn’t want us to check Matt’s past, then we simply had to do it behind his back.

So as it turns out, Matt had nothing to hide. No ex wife. No children. No gangs. We found that out the hard way.

We were inside Matt’s apartment. It was beautifully furnished and everything was in its place.

‘Gee, this guy is freakishly neat,’ Thando said. ‘He’s not going to be our friend.’

‘You mean, he’s not gonna be your friend,’ I said. ‘You are the slob of the group.’

She scowled.

We started searching the apartment. We weren’t sure what we were looking for, but we knew we’d know when we found it. While we were busy, we heard footsteps outside the apartment.

‘Oh my ghosh, I thought he was working till late,’ Thando said.

We franticly looked around, searching for a place to hide.

‘What do we do?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know!’

We ran around in circles before deciding to crouch behind the couch, just as the door opened.

Matt walked in. He went to the bedroom and dropped the gym bag there. We continued moving around the couch as Matt moved around the apartment.

I reached for my phone and dialled.

‘Hello,’ Ed said.

‘Ed,’ I whispered. ‘We need you to come down to Matt’s apartment and… take him away.’

‘What do you mean, “take him away”?’

‘We’re kinda in his apartment right now.’

‘What?’

‘And we weren’t expecting him to be back so soon.’

‘What are you doing at his apartment?’

‘Long story,’ I said.

‘Tell him to hurry, I need to pee,’ Thando said, crossing her legs. She looked really uncomfortable.

‘Hurry, before Thando ruins Matt’s expensive carpet.’

Ed cut the call without saying another word.

‘He’s really angry,’ I said.

‘What do we do now?’ Thando asked. She was getting desperate.

I shrugged.

There was a knock on the door. We both looked towards it.

Matt appeared from the kitchen and went to answer the door. As a result, we had to change our position behind the couch. Thando was crouching with her legs crossed, which made it difficult for her to move.

It was Ed! We were so relieved.

‘I made some dinner for my friends, they’ve gone MIA. So… I was wondering if you’d like to join me.’

Matt was silent for a while.

‘I’m the best cook in the group. My friends can’t cook. They are terrible cooks. They can’t even boil an egg,’ Ed said. Of course, that was not true; we weren’t that bad.

‘Ja, sure, I’d love to,’ Matt said. He locked the door behind him and they left.

Thando and I stood.

‘That was close,’ Thando said. She ran to the bathroom. I laughed.

We decided to stop prying on Handsome Matt’s life. If he became part of our group, we wanted it to happen naturally.

Nowhere to Hide

The Health Café was my favourite café in the whole world. They sold healthy meals and great tasting smoothies. They had dairy free, gluten free, and fat free options. Whatever healthy meal you wanted, they had it. Today I chose a protein smoothie and a fruit salad.

The café was also convenient, because it was right next to my apartment building. If I didn’t have time or didn’t feel like cooking, which was often, I ate at the Health Café.

Thando sat next to me, a drink in hand. As usual, she was dressed up.

‘Whatever happened to that hot personal trainer you had the hots for? What was his name?’ Thando asked.

‘Matt,’ I said.

‘Yes. Matt. So?’ She waited.

‘He’s unavailable.’

‘That’s a shame. But don’t worry; I’ll introduce you to one of Steve’s friends.’

I feigned a smile. Now that Thando was in a relationship with Steve, she wanted everyone else to also be a couple.

Ed walked into the café and following behind him was the handsome personal trainer Matt. They sat at our table. Ed sat next to me and Matt sat opposite me, next to Thando.

‘Guess who I pumped into? He lives in my hallway,’ Ed said.

Great, I thought. Now I’d have to find a new place to live.

‘You missed our first training session,’ Matt said.

That’s because I’ve changed gyms, I thought.

‘You’re still paying for the session by the way,’ he added.

I nodded.

Ed stood. ‘Q, may I have a word with you?’

I followed him.

‘So why didn’t you tell me that handsome Matt is gay?’

I cleared my throat. ‘Well…’

‘Yes.’

‘I was kinda embarrassed, because I practically and literally threw myself at him.’

Ed laughed. ‘I’m the one who literary threw you at him.’ He looked over my shoulder to the table where Matt and Thando sat chatting.

I turned the same direction and then back to Ed. ‘You like him,’ I said.

He didn’t respond immediately. ‘Well… you liked him first.’

‘I can’t have him. So he’s all yours. Besides, he’s not really that cute.’

‘Girl, are you kidding me? He is hot.’

I shrugged. ‘He’s OK, I guess.’

Ed smiled. I could see him picturing their future together. How they’d live happily ever after, while I was thinking of how best to avoid Handsome Matt who now lived in the same apartment building as me.

Handsome Matt

I was running on the treadmill when I saw him. I almost fell off. I had to hit the emergency stop button to prevent an accident. He was the most handsome man I’d seen in years. OK, maybe not years, but that’s how long it felt.

He had muscles in strategic areas. He was lean and handsome. He had a beautiful smile, gorgeous eyes and he was wearing a personal trainer’s uniform.

‘Hey, Ed.’

Ed was running on a treadmill next to mine. ‘What?’ he asked, out of breath.

‘Is that a new PT? I’ve never seen him here before,’ I said.

Ed spotted him. He jumped and stood with his legs spread open on the unmoving edge of the treadmill, while the belt was still moving.

‘OMG! He’s so cute,’ he said. ‘Aren’t you gonna go and introduce yourself?’

‘What?’

‘I can see you’re interested.’

‘Forget about him, Q, PT’s are broke,’ Thando said, butting in on our private conversation. She was running fast, but was barely out of breath. ‘You’ll never see me dead with one, except, of course, if he’s my trainer.’ She chuckled.

‘That’s not true. PT’s are not broke.’ I shook my head. ‘That’s beside the point.’

‘Easy for you to say, you’re a working girl,’ she said, contempt dripping from her voice. You’d swear my job involved doing something illegal.

I stepped down from the treadmill after the woman in front of the waiting queue gave me a dirty look for the third time. Ed joined me. We left Thando hard at work.

The handsome PT walked past us. I held my breath. Ed pushed me towards him and I collided with him. He stumbled a little, but managed to stay on his feet.

Ed quickly walked away, leaving me with the mess.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I said.

‘Are you OK?’ he asked.

Oh what a gentlemen, I thought. ‘I’m fine. Again, I’m sorry.’

He smiled. Something started to happen in my stomach. Butterflies, I thought.

‘My name is Qaqamba, but everyone calls me Q.’ I stretched out my hand. He shook it. His hand was so soft.

‘I’m Matt,’ he said.

‘I’ve never seen you here before.’

‘I’m new in town. I’m from Cape Town.’

‘Welcome to Jo’burg.’ I couldn’t think of anything more intelligent to say. ‘You know, if you like, my friends and I could show you around.’ I giggled like a love struck teenager.

What is wrong with you? I chastised myself.

‘OK.’

‘Really?’ I was surprised.

‘Under one condition.’

‘Name it.’

‘You sign up as my client.’

I looked down at myself. ‘Do I really look that fat?’

He lifted his hands. ‘Oh no, no. I just need more clients.’

‘Just teasing.’ I laughed. ‘Deal. I’ll sign up my friends as well.’

I smiled. I wasn’t looking for a man right now, but if Matt dropped down on one knee, I would shout YES!

‘Q?’ Matt called as I walked away. I turned quickly.

‘Yes?’

He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. ‘I’m gay.’

‘What?’

‘I just wanted it out there.’

‘Sorry, what?’

‘I’m gay,’ he said again.

‘Are you sure?’

He laughed and nodded. ‘Very much so.’

I shrugged, pretending not to be interested. ‘You don’t have to lie in order to blow me off. I’m not interested in you,’ I lied.

‘I’m not lying. I am gay.’

‘Good,’ I said and walked away. I felt my cheeks heat up. At that moment, I wished the ground would open up, swallow me whole, and spare me of this embarrassment.  One thing for sure, I was never coming back to this gym. No way I’d be able to face Matt ever again.