The Girl with a Difficult Name

It’s funny how in a big city like Johannesburg with a population of about 3.8million people, you always run into the one person you’re avoiding. For me that person was Sbu Langa. Why here? Why now? Why him? I asked myself as I ducked back into Zara at Sandton City. I’d just completed the task of returning the clothing items I’d purchased to make me feel better, clothes that I didn’t need and couldn’t afford.

‘Q, is that you?’ I heard him ask.

I froze in place, not sure what to do. I slowly turned and faced him. His generous lips were stretched into a smile. I smiled back at him and pretended that my stomach didn’t just do a double flip at the sight of him.

He was so gorgeous and so not available.

‘Hi, Sbu, I didn’t see you,’ I lied.

He gave me a hug. He smelled so good. My heart started beating faster. I pushed him away, afraid that if I held on for a moment longer I would fall in love with him. And I couldn’t let myself fall for an unavailable man. A man who once liked me. A man who might still have feelings for me, but was now dating a beautiful, tall model.

His six-foot girlfriend walked into the shop, reminding me that I wasn’t part of his life. That he wasn’t mine. He smiled at her and introduced us. My mind wondered for a moment. I wished he smiled at me the way he smiled at her. I wished he looked at me the way he looked at her.

‘Nice to meet you, Q,’ the girlfriend said. Her name was Cynthia Brown.

I feigned a smile and said, ‘Nice to meet you too, Cynthia.’ It was a lie. And it was getting a little awkward.

‘So why does everyone call you Q?’ she asked.

‘That’s because people can’t pronounce my name,’ I said.

‘I can,’ Sbu said. He sounded proud of himself, as if knowing how to pronounce my name was of national importance.

The girlfriend got curious. ‘What’s your full name?’

‘Qaqamba Ngqiqo,’ he said my name as if it was the sexiest name on earth. There was nothing sexy about my name, but hearing him say it made my heart skipped a beat.

The girlfriend tried pronouncing my name, but she struggled saying the “qa” sound, it sounded like a “ca” sound. She ended up pronouncing it “Cacamba”.

Sbu and I held back our laughter. Of course, I hadn’t expected him to laugh at his own girlfriend. It gave me hope that maybe they weren’t serious. I was reaching, I knew, but I was willing to hold on to any hope that he might still like me. And as for my name being mispronounced, I was used to it, maybe I shouldn’t be, but I didn’t want to stress myself about it.

What mattered was that Sbu still liked me. He confirmed this by looking back at me as he was walking away with his girlfriend. He smiled and winked as they disappeared out of the shop. I held on to the nearest counter to steady myself. I didn’t understand how I could be falling for him, when only weeks ago I’d rejected him. Now I couldn’t get him out of my mind.