The Strings of Her Heart

Q was driving to work when the thought occurred to her. She got angry with herself for letting things get this far. She had unintentionally given Sbu the keys to her heart and now he was tugging and pulling her strings and she was responding like a puppet, allowing him to pull her and tag her anywhere he wished. She made a sharp U-turn on Rivonia Road and drove towards Grayston Drive where Sbu’s office was located. She was going to put an end to this. Enough was enough.

When she reached the reception area, confidence evaporated and doubt started creeping in. She was suddenly uncertain that confronting Sbu was such a great idea. What if he starts declaring his undying love for her again? What if this time he succeeds and kisses her? She didn’t think she could handle that. She turned back towards the parking lot. No! No! No!she repeated to herself. She turned around and decided to face her demons. She walked into reception.

‘I’m here to see Sbu,’ she said to the receptionist.

‘Do you have an appointment?’ the receptionist asked. She wore a black tight-fitting suit and a bright red lipstick. MAC’s Ruby Woo, Q thought.

‘Just tell him Q is here to see him,’ she said. ‘And if you turn me away, he’ll be really unhappy,’ she added.

The receptionist picked up the handset and dialed. The smile that had been on her face when Q walked in had now been replaced by a frown. Q ignored it, she couldn’t worry herself about the receptionist’s feelings when she had her own to deal with. Her stomach did a back flip at the thought of seeing Sbu; she placed a hand on it to calm her nerves. It didn’t work.

‘Mr Langa would see you now,’ the receptionist said.

She nodded.

She stood outside the office for a while and smoothened her floral dress with spaghetti straps. She closed her eyes preparing herself for battle. She reached for the door handle and pushed the door open. When she entered Sbu’s spacious office, he was leaning in front of his large desk; his long legs crossed in front of him. The office had tall windows that provided a great view of central Sandton. He smiled at her, clearly happy to see her.

‘No!’ she said. ‘I’m not here to declare my undying love for you and you are not allowed to do so either. Ever again. This is not a let’s-get-together speech, or let’s-have-an-affair or a I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-you speech. No! No! No! None of that.’

He opened his mouth to speak, but Q interrupted him with a wave of her hand.

‘Let me finish.’ She took a deep breath. ‘This thing going on between the two of us…’ she pointed at herself and then at Sbu and then back to herself, ‘…has to stop. Need I remind you that you have a fiancé; you are getting married soon. Forget about me and focus on your future with her. You wouldn’t want to ruin a great relationship you have for what might be. We are just wrong for each other. All we bring to each other is pain and we’ve never even been together. Just cut your losses before someone gets hurt.’ She took another deep breath. ‘And now I’ve said all I wanted to say.’

Sbu was silent for a while. He got to his feet and walked towards her. For a moment, she was unsure of what to do. She just wished her heart didn’t beat fast every time she saw him.

‘You’re right. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.’

She breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Can we be friends at least? I want you to be part of my life.’

She smiled. ‘I’d like that.’

‘Good. Friend.’ He extended his hand. She reached out and shook it. The contact didn’t pull at the strings of her heart this time.

She was glad that she’d cleared things up with Sbu. Now there’d no longer be awkward moments between them. She won’t be wondering when she’d run into him again. She smiled, pleased.

‘I have to go, before Gail sends the cavalry to search for me.’

She was about to walk out when she almost crashed into Steve, Sbu’s business partner and Thando’s boyfriend. He was drenched in sweat, so much so that his shirt clung to his back. Beads of sweat were running down his face. He rubbed his hands on the side of his pants.

‘Are you OK?’ Sbu asked.

‘I need to talk to you,’ he said.

Q sensed urgency in Steve’s voice. She stood there waiting, listening even though she knew she should excuse herself.

‘I have a problem. I’m in deep shit,’ Steve began. He was about to continue but stopped himself when he noticed Q. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. He glanced back and forth between Sbu and Q. ‘I’m sorry, I had no idea you had company.’

‘It’s OK,’ Q said. ‘I was on my way out.’ She didn’t want to leave she was curious and wanted to know what had gotten Steve so nervous. However, she did the right thing and walked towards the door. ‘Bye.’

‘See you later, friend,’ Sbu said.

She closed the door behind her and she told herself to mind her own business.

She caught a reflection of herself on a mirror next to the elevator. She took out her iPhone5 and snapped a selfie. She would post this on Instagram with the caption: “dressed to kill. So glad I’ve put some demons to rest and in so doing, I have gained a new friendJ”

As she walked out into the warm Jo’burg morning, she smiled. She was happy that she’d cleared the air between herself and Sbu. She put on her large shades and climbed into her car. She drove away a happier woman.