The Case of the Ex

Getting back together with an ex is an act of desperation. It’s a sign that all hope has been abandoned, that the ship was sinking. I had reached that level of desperation, so when my high school sweetheart showed up in town, I had to see him. My friends thought it was a bad idea. We were all chilling at my apartment on a Sunday evening when they voiced their objections.

‘It’s never a good idea to see your ex,’ Ed said. ‘I’ll never, ever, ever see my high school partner ever again.’

‘That’s way too many evers, Ed,’ Thando said. ‘There has to be a story there.’

‘No,’ Ed said way too quickly. He looked away.

‘Her name was Elaine,’ I said, laughing as I remembered the story.

Thando raised her eyebrows. ‘Her?’ She looked at Ed. ‘How come I never heard anything about this?’

‘Because… it was a fake relationship. I did it to make my parents happy. They were concerned about my lack of interest in women,’ Ed said. ‘They were so happy when I brought Elaine home to introduce her to them.’

‘Did Elaine know that you were gay?’ Matt asked.

Ed shrugged. ‘Towards the end she suspected… I think.’

‘You never told her?’ Thando asked.

Ed shook his head. ‘If I told her, she would have told my parents. I couldn’t risk it.’

‘You haven’t told your parents that you’re gay?’ Thando asked.

‘No,’ I said, not giving Ed a chance to respond. ‘This one time when they were visiting, I had to pretend that I was his girlfriend.’

Thando laughed. ‘I don’t understand, how could they not know?’ She laughed again.

Matt didn’t find any of this funny.

‘So every time they visit, I have to be around to play happy home,’ I said. ‘And trust me, Ed and I make a very convincing fake couple.’

‘Where was I when they came?’ Thando asked. ‘I’ve never met your parents.’

I took a sip of my coffee to avoid saying something that would cause trouble for Ed. Ed stood and walked to the kitchen with the empty plate to refill it with biscuits.

The truth was that Ed didn’t want his parents to meet Thando. They were conservative and Thando was always in the media for the wrong reasons. Ed thought it be best that his parents knew nothing about his friendship with Thando.

Ed returned from the kitchen. ‘I’m sure my parents will love you. The next time they’re in town I’ll let you know,’ he lied.

That made Thando smile.

‘What about me?’ Matt asked.

We all turned and looked at him. I cleared my throat. Thando watched with interest. The situation turned a little awkward.

Ed reached for Matt’s hand. Matt pulled his hand away. ‘I’ll have to tell them I’m gay first before I introduce you as my partner. Else they’ll have a heart attack. You understand, don’t you?’

Without saying another word, Matt stood and left.

‘Matt come on… please understand.’

Matt didn’t stop. He slammed the door behind him.

‘Thank you very much, Q,’ Ed said. He followed Matt out of the door.

‘What did I do?’ I asked.

Thando shrugged. She reached for a biscuit.

I watched them go. Ed was in trouble. I couldn’t help him. I wish I could, but I had problems of my own, like what I would I wear when I met my high school sweetheart.