The Ghost of Boyfriends Past

I was yet to meet a woman who did not remember every single detail about her first boyfriend. It was a memory that never faded. It was probably lodged in the part of the brain that never suffered from memory loss. We remember their scent, the way they kissed (even if they were terrible kissers) and we wonder what could have been. My first boyfriend’s name was Khaya Luvo. He’d been a soccer player. Very fit. Tall. Handsome. Every girl at school had wanted to be with him. He’d only wanted to be with me. I was the lucky girl that got him. We thought we’d end up married and have two children. A boy and a girl. Or maybe I was the one who’d fantasised about the marriage and the children, and that’s where the problem had been. We’d wanted different things. Khaya had wanted to see the world and I’d wanted to settle down and start a family.

So we’d gone our separate ways.

Of course, that was me many years ago. Now settling down and starting a family were far from my mind.

After receiving a call from Khaya, I started thinking about him a lot. I wondered if he ever left our village and travelled the world like he’d wanted to. I wondered if he ever settled down and had children. I doubted it. He was a free spirit who couldn’t be pinned down.

I was due to meet Khaya in the evening and I was going through the laborious task of choosing an outfit for the evening. I wanted something that said, “I’m cool. I’m a free spirit” and I avoided anything that said, “I wanna settle down”.

Thando was by my side, assisting me choose an appropriate outfit.

Clothes were scatted all over the bed and some were laid neatly on the chair.

‘I can’t believe Khaya is in town,’ she said, daydreaming. ‘Please remind me why he dated you and not me? I was the pretty one.’

‘You had a boyfriend, remember?’

‘That was only because Khaya wouldn’t give me time of day. I finally got the hint and moved on.’

I laughed. ‘You had a massive crush on him, and I ended up getting the man.’

‘Not funny. I was angry with you for days.’

‘Days? More like months. You wouldn’t talk to me. But what was I to do when the village hunk asked me out?’

‘I guess.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘If I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing.’

I grabbed a Stoned Cherry tight fitting dress from my wardrobe and showed it to Thando. ‘How about this one?’

She nodded and smiled. ‘I like it. It says, I am hot and available.’ She giggled.

I rolled my eyes and decided it was a perfect outfit for me. After all there’s nothing wrong with being available to a man who’d see you naked.

I arrived at the restaurant five minutes late. Being early would have made me to appear desperate. Being too late would’ve made him think I wasn’t interested. However, being five minutes late was perfect. It kept him guessing.

The hostess smiled at me. I gave her my surname; I’d reserved our table under my name. While she was checking her records, I looked around the restaurant, wondering if Khaya had arrived. I couldn’t see him.

‘Let me take you to your table, ma’am,’ the hostess said.

I followed her. ‘Excuse me, has the other party arrived?’

She nodded and pointed at a table in the far corner where a large, balding man sat.

I stopped on my tracks. ‘Are you sure?’ I whispered. I was convinced she was mistaken.

She nodded and continued walking toward the opulent man. I followed her, my steps now hesitant.

I walked around the table and stood next to the empty chair facing my date. Lo and behold, it was Khaya. A much older version. One that I found myself not attracted to. He looked like he was carrying the world’s problems on his shoulders.

‘Khaya?’

He looked up at me. A smiled formed on his face. I saw a hint of the man I used to know.

While I got better with age, Khaya had gotten worse. Maybe I was being a bit unkind; it was just that the man sitting in front of me looked nothing like the Khaya of my childhood.

I noticed that he was wearing a ring. A wave of relief flooded me and I smiled widely.

‘Qaqamba,’ he said his smile widening. ‘You look good.’ He stood and pulled my chair for me. Always a gentleman.

‘I’ll ask the waitress to bring you drinks and take your order. What would you like to drink?’ the hostess asked.

I ordered a glass of red wine and Khaya ordered the same.

I looked at him and smiled. ‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘You don’t look too bad yourself.’ As the lie left my lips, I knew I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. But what does one say in such circumstances?

Looking at him, I realised that it was not that Khaya had lost his handsome looks, it was the sadness in his eyes. He used to always wear a smile that reached his eyes, but there was none of that tonight. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what was troubling him. I came here for a fun filled night and not to be turned into a therapist.

Our waitress returned with our drinks.

‘What have you been up to?’ I asked. ‘I see you’re married.’

He stared at his ring as if seeing it for the first time. ‘Separated,’ he said.

‘I’m sorry.’ I started feeling a little uncomfortable again. I wasn’t interested in his troubles.

‘Kids?’

‘Two,’ he responded. ‘A boy and a girl.’

It was funny how the tables had turned. Khaya was living my dream and I was living his. He’d settled down, while I remained a free spirit.

‘Why did we break up? Please remind me.’ He chuckled.

I smiled and took a sip of my drink. I was already thinking of a way to get out of this date without hurting his feelings. I knew nothing good could come out of my date with my ex.

J&B Met

It was time to attend the J&B Met, the premier fashion event of the year. The theme for this year was, “Made to Fly”. Each year we attended the Met. It was our tradition. Ed, as the fashion editor had to attend. Thando and I tagged along, because we loved looking fabulous and we loved mingling with celebs and pseudo celebs.

Our designer was busy creating our masterpieces. I couldn’t wait to see my dress. No matter how big I was, I loved dressing up.

‘I’m not going,’ Ed informed us one afternoon as we were having dinner at the Health Food Restaurant.

‘What do you mean, you’re not attending?’ I asked, outraged. ‘We always do the Met together. You can’t break tradition.’

‘It’s because of Matt. You should have seen him when I mentioned Cape Town. He screamed at me and told me he’s never going back. He totally freaked out. I’ve never seen him that upset before,’ he said.

‘What did you expect?’ Thando asked. ‘He knows nothing about fashion. And no, he can’t join us if he’ll be wearing his gym clothes.’

Our first attempt at getting Matt out of his gym tracksuit had failed. He used his job as an excuse. ‘I’m a personal trainer and these are my work clothes,’ he’d said.

I looked at Ed who was standing in front of me wearing a sad expression on his face. ‘I never thought I’d see a day where you choose a man over the Met,’ I said.

‘Over fashion,’ Thando added.

I stood, pushing my chair as I did so. ‘But you have to go, you’re the fashion editor.’

‘I was gonna ask you to represent me,’ he said.

We begged him for a while, but he wouldn’t change his mind. So there was only one thing left to do.

We knocked at Matt’s apartment. As he opened the door, we pushed it and let ourselves in before he had a chance to invite us in or shut the door on our faces.

‘We’re taking you to our designer,’ Thando said.

‘Please… come on in,’ Matt said, instead. ‘And yes I’m fine, thank you for asking.’

‘We need you to come with us to the Met,’ I said.

His eyes widened a little, but he turned his head from us hiding his emotions.  ‘No, I have to work,’ he said. He cleared his throat.

I noticed the turmoil, but Thando didn’t. She said, ‘It’s only one day. You can fly in, in the morning and be back in the evening.’

‘I left Cape Town behind.’ He cleared his throat again. ‘Some of us have to work for a living.’

‘Could you at least convince Ed to attend? It’s just won’t be the same without him,’ Thando said.

Matt nodded.

We left Matt’s apartment and climbed the elevator up to my apartment.

‘Did we ever find out why Matt left Cape Town?’ I asked.

‘No.’

‘I think we need to.’

I was sure Matt was hiding something from his past and I was determined to find out what.

I don’t know what Matt said to Ed, but he convinced him to come with us to the Met. We had a lovely time at the Met, but that’s a story for another day.

Unknown Past

‘When are you gonna tell Handsome Mat that you’re attracted to him?’ I asked Ed.

He ignored me and continued watching TV.

‘Try never,’ Thando said. ‘He’s shy and he thinks Mat is too handsome for him.’

‘You told her that? I thought I was your bff.’

Ed turned to me then. ‘I like him but I’m just afraid.’

‘Of what?’ I asked.

‘He’s just so hot and I’m afraid that he’ll reject me,’ Ed said.

I was surprised. ‘You must really like him. You’ve never been shy before.’

‘If I may interject here,’ Thando said. ‘Before you marry him off to a total stranger, you might want to think off… I don’t know… the fact that we know nothing about Matt. Like why did he leave Cape Town? Maybe he was in a gang and things went south, so he was forced to move, to run, to hide.’

Thando, always one with an over active imagination.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Thando,’ I said.

‘He’s pretty cagey about why he left Cape Town. Maybe he’s married and has kids.’

‘Maybe he was a stripper,’ I said. We laughed.

‘Or a pimp.’ We laughed. ‘All I’m saying is that we need to check him out. I don’t want to see Ed broken hearted again,’ Thando said.

That, I couldn’t argue with.

‘We need to find out more about him,’ I said. ‘Because I can see that you like him.’

‘No guys,’ Ed  said. ‘We’re not going to go dinging into Matt’s past. If he wants us to know something, he’ll tell us.’

‘But, Ed…’ Thando complained.

‘No! Absolutely not!’

I wanted to protest, but Ed said, ‘That’s final.’

Thando and I looked at each other. We nodded. Ed didn’t want us to check Matt’s past, then we simply had to do it behind his back.

So as it turns out, Matt had nothing to hide. No ex wife. No children. No gangs. We found that out the hard way.

We were inside Matt’s apartment. It was beautifully furnished and everything was in its place.

‘Gee, this guy is freakishly neat,’ Thando said. ‘He’s not going to be our friend.’

‘You mean, he’s not gonna be your friend,’ I said. ‘You are the slob of the group.’

She scowled.

We started searching the apartment. We weren’t sure what we were looking for, but we knew we’d know when we found it. While we were busy, we heard footsteps outside the apartment.

‘Oh my ghosh, I thought he was working till late,’ Thando said.

We franticly looked around, searching for a place to hide.

‘What do we do?’ I asked.

‘I don’t know!’

We ran around in circles before deciding to crouch behind the couch, just as the door opened.

Matt walked in. He went to the bedroom and dropped the gym bag there. We continued moving around the couch as Matt moved around the apartment.

I reached for my phone and dialled.

‘Hello,’ Ed said.

‘Ed,’ I whispered. ‘We need you to come down to Matt’s apartment and… take him away.’

‘What do you mean, “take him away”?’

‘We’re kinda in his apartment right now.’

‘What?’

‘And we weren’t expecting him to be back so soon.’

‘What are you doing at his apartment?’

‘Long story,’ I said.

‘Tell him to hurry, I need to pee,’ Thando said, crossing her legs. She looked really uncomfortable.

‘Hurry, before Thando ruins Matt’s expensive carpet.’

Ed cut the call without saying another word.

‘He’s really angry,’ I said.

‘What do we do now?’ Thando asked. She was getting desperate.

I shrugged.

There was a knock on the door. We both looked towards it.

Matt appeared from the kitchen and went to answer the door. As a result, we had to change our position behind the couch. Thando was crouching with her legs crossed, which made it difficult for her to move.

It was Ed! We were so relieved.

‘I made some dinner for my friends, they’ve gone MIA. So… I was wondering if you’d like to join me.’

Matt was silent for a while.

‘I’m the best cook in the group. My friends can’t cook. They are terrible cooks. They can’t even boil an egg,’ Ed said. Of course, that was not true; we weren’t that bad.

‘Ja, sure, I’d love to,’ Matt said. He locked the door behind him and they left.

Thando and I stood.

‘That was close,’ Thando said. She ran to the bathroom. I laughed.

We decided to stop prying on Handsome Matt’s life. If he became part of our group, we wanted it to happen naturally.