The Strings of Her Heart

Q was driving to work when the thought occurred to her. She got angry with herself for letting things get this far. She had unintentionally given Sbu the keys to her heart and now he was tugging and pulling her strings and she was responding like a puppet, allowing him to pull her and tag her anywhere he wished. She made a sharp U-turn on Rivonia Road and drove towards Grayston Drive where Sbu’s office was located. She was going to put an end to this. Enough was enough.

When she reached the reception area, confidence evaporated and doubt started creeping in. She was suddenly uncertain that confronting Sbu was such a great idea. What if he starts declaring his undying love for her again? What if this time he succeeds and kisses her? She didn’t think she could handle that. She turned back towards the parking lot. No! No! No!she repeated to herself. She turned around and decided to face her demons. She walked into reception.

‘I’m here to see Sbu,’ she said to the receptionist.

‘Do you have an appointment?’ the receptionist asked. She wore a black tight-fitting suit and a bright red lipstick. MAC’s Ruby Woo, Q thought.

‘Just tell him Q is here to see him,’ she said. ‘And if you turn me away, he’ll be really unhappy,’ she added.

The receptionist picked up the handset and dialed. The smile that had been on her face when Q walked in had now been replaced by a frown. Q ignored it, she couldn’t worry herself about the receptionist’s feelings when she had her own to deal with. Her stomach did a back flip at the thought of seeing Sbu; she placed a hand on it to calm her nerves. It didn’t work.

‘Mr Langa would see you now,’ the receptionist said.

She nodded.

She stood outside the office for a while and smoothened her floral dress with spaghetti straps. She closed her eyes preparing herself for battle. She reached for the door handle and pushed the door open. When she entered Sbu’s spacious office, he was leaning in front of his large desk; his long legs crossed in front of him. The office had tall windows that provided a great view of central Sandton. He smiled at her, clearly happy to see her.

‘No!’ she said. ‘I’m not here to declare my undying love for you and you are not allowed to do so either. Ever again. This is not a let’s-get-together speech, or let’s-have-an-affair or a I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-you speech. No! No! No! None of that.’

He opened his mouth to speak, but Q interrupted him with a wave of her hand.

‘Let me finish.’ She took a deep breath. ‘This thing going on between the two of us…’ she pointed at herself and then at Sbu and then back to herself, ‘…has to stop. Need I remind you that you have a fiancé; you are getting married soon. Forget about me and focus on your future with her. You wouldn’t want to ruin a great relationship you have for what might be. We are just wrong for each other. All we bring to each other is pain and we’ve never even been together. Just cut your losses before someone gets hurt.’ She took another deep breath. ‘And now I’ve said all I wanted to say.’

Sbu was silent for a while. He got to his feet and walked towards her. For a moment, she was unsure of what to do. She just wished her heart didn’t beat fast every time she saw him.

‘You’re right. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.’

She breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Can we be friends at least? I want you to be part of my life.’

She smiled. ‘I’d like that.’

‘Good. Friend.’ He extended his hand. She reached out and shook it. The contact didn’t pull at the strings of her heart this time.

She was glad that she’d cleared things up with Sbu. Now there’d no longer be awkward moments between them. She won’t be wondering when she’d run into him again. She smiled, pleased.

‘I have to go, before Gail sends the cavalry to search for me.’

She was about to walk out when she almost crashed into Steve, Sbu’s business partner and Thando’s boyfriend. He was drenched in sweat, so much so that his shirt clung to his back. Beads of sweat were running down his face. He rubbed his hands on the side of his pants.

‘Are you OK?’ Sbu asked.

‘I need to talk to you,’ he said.

Q sensed urgency in Steve’s voice. She stood there waiting, listening even though she knew she should excuse herself.

‘I have a problem. I’m in deep shit,’ Steve began. He was about to continue but stopped himself when he noticed Q. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. He glanced back and forth between Sbu and Q. ‘I’m sorry, I had no idea you had company.’

‘It’s OK,’ Q said. ‘I was on my way out.’ She didn’t want to leave she was curious and wanted to know what had gotten Steve so nervous. However, she did the right thing and walked towards the door. ‘Bye.’

‘See you later, friend,’ Sbu said.

She closed the door behind her and she told herself to mind her own business.

She caught a reflection of herself on a mirror next to the elevator. She took out her iPhone5 and snapped a selfie. She would post this on Instagram with the caption: “dressed to kill. So glad I’ve put some demons to rest and in so doing, I have gained a new friendJ”

As she walked out into the warm Jo’burg morning, she smiled. She was happy that she’d cleared the air between herself and Sbu. She put on her large shades and climbed into her car. She drove away a happier woman.

In the Name of Love

There’s no greater feeling than being in love. When in love, it made me feel like all was well with the world. People could be swearing at me, pointing fingers, or angry with me and I would still respond with a smile. I wouldn’t be fazed, all because of how I felt.

Tato and I had been dating for a month now and things were going great. He was wonderful, considerate, and a great listener. He always said the right thing at the right time. He wanted to spend every moment of everyday with me.

Tato was a struggling musician. He still lived with his parents and sometimes crashed with friends. He didn’t own a car, didn’t have any savings in his account. He basically lived from hand to mouth. Even though that was a slight setback, I could live with it. What I couldn’t live with was his lack of ambition. He didn’t want to further his studies, even though I was willing to help him secure funding. We argued about this often.

I placed a stack of university and college brochures on the table.

‘All I’m asking you to do is consider it,’ I said. ‘You could study music or something related to the music industry.’

He ignored the brochures. By the way he looked at them, I knew he wouldn’t touch them. ‘So you have a problem dating an uneducated man?’ Tato said.

‘If I had a problem, I wouldn’t be with you, would I?’

He did not respond.

I sat next to him on the pale blue couch in my living room. ‘Look, I care about you and I know you have such potential. Don’t you want to improve your life?’

He moved closer to me and held my hand. ‘You make my life so much better. You improve my life,’ he said.

I wasn’t sure how to interpret that. So I decided not to.

‘But what if I’m not around? What then?’

A frown formed in his brow. He let go of my hand. ‘What does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?’

‘No, no, no,’ I said quickly, reassuring him. ‘That’s not what I mean.’

There was no guarantee we would be together forever. Bu I did not say that. I didn’t want to further upset him. The conversation was over. This was clearly a point on which we would never agree.

I got up and grabbed my handbag. We had a dinner date with my friends. This was the first time they would be meeting him. I was nervous. I wanted my friend to like him as much as I liked him. We were meeting them at Thando’s penthouse.

Dinner was fantastic. Tato talked about his love of music and about his dream to become a musician. My friends hung on every word he spoke. He was a charmer. I was quite pleased.

After dinner, I went to drop Tato at the taxi rank. He got out of my BMW X1 and jumped into a beat down corroded coffin on wheels, they called a taxi, which puffed a cloud of smoke as it taxied on.

I went back to Thando’s place where my friends were waiting for me. I was anxious to hear what they thought of my new boyfriend.

Thando was the first to comment. ‘You have to dump him,’ she said. ‘You had to drop him off at a taxi rank. That’s just not on.’

No surprises there. Thando didn’t date a man unless he had a supersized bank account. But I wasn’t like that.

‘Ja, what’s up with that?’ Ed asked. ‘Why didn’t you just drop him off in Alex?’

I poured myself a glass of wine. ‘It’s too far,’ I said. I took a seat between Thando and Ed. ‘It’s late. It’s not safe.’ I shrugged. ‘And, Thando, him not having a car is not an issue,’ I added. ‘Not for me anyway.’

‘He’s not a good fit for the group,’ Matt said. ‘He doesn’t have a job.’

‘Matt!’ I turned to look at Matt who sat cross-legged on a one-sitter. ‘I expected that from Thando, but not from you!’

‘Just saying… He won’t be able to afford you. Your outfit today costs more than his monthly salary.’

I glanced down at my outfit. ‘That is not true.’

‘That bag alone—’

I cut Ed off. ‘Fine, I get your point. But that doesn’t matter to me. I like him.’

Matt shook his head. ‘In all seriousness, I don’t have a problem with his employment situation. He is following his dream. Good for him.’

I smiled.

Matt continued, ‘But there’s something off about the guy. He’s too much of a smooth talker. I don’t trust him.’

Those words wiped away my smile. ‘You just met the guy. Would you give him a chance? If there’s something wrong with him, I’ll leave him. Would you please relax? I’m not planning to marry him or anything,’ I said.

I didn’t know whether our relationship would stand the test of time, but I was willing to give it my all. There was something special about Tato; I felt it, even if my friends didn’t.

‘As my friends, I was hoping you’d support me, but I guess I was wrong. You’re all materialistic. Shame on you,’ I said.

They mumbled something I couldn’t hear.

I waited. No one spoke.

‘Fine. We’ll give him a chance. But when he starts using you for what you have, don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ Matt said.

I was happy to have support from my friends, even though I had to coerce them into accepting him. I smiled, looking forward to a great future with this man. I had no idea that more troubles were to follow.

Awkward Crush

When I got home that afternoon, I remembered why we were friends. Thando stood in the lounge with a bunch of flowers and boxes of chocolate. One of her hands was hidden behind her. She’d taken the trouble to do the shopping for the dinner we were having with her boyfriend and her new crush. ‘I know these are your favourite,’ she said. Then she moved her hand from behind her to reveal a pair of pink stiletto’s from Zara that I’d been eyeing for a month now. ‘For you.’

How could my heart not melt after that? I reached for the shoes. ‘I love them. You know me so well,’ I said. I immediately tried the shoes on. They were a perfect match. I decided to ignore the boxes of chocolate. I didn’t want to upset my diet; I’ve been so good the past few days, even though the scale was still static.

‘So will you help me prepare for tonight’s dinner? Please?’

I nodded. ‘Sure. I’d love to.’

She jumped and gave me a big hug. ‘Yeah! Well let me get ready for the dinner then. I need to do my hair and my nails—’

I grabbed her handbag from her. ‘I don’t think so. You are not going anywhere. If I can’t get ready, neither can you. You’re gonna stay and help with the dinner.’

She looked at me with sad eyes that were starting to fill with tears. The girl knew how to manipulate me. And I let her. ‘Fine. Go.’

‘Thank you, thank you. I love you.’ She left me standing there in my fabulous new shoes, thinking about what I would prepare for the big dinner. Whatever it was, it would be a healthy meal. Now the trick was to make it interesting.

I managed to get the dinner prepared on time, of course it helped that Ed was there. We cooked while Thando and Matt chatted in the lounge. They didn’t lift a finger to help. But that was probably for the best, we didn’t want the food ruined for our guest.

Steve and Sbu arrived. I was a little disappointed. Thando had described Sbu as tall and handsome, well he was tall, but he wasn’t that good looking, which meant he was way richer than Steve. That’s the only reason Thando would trade him for Steve.

We all sat and enjoyed our dinner. Thando kept smiling and looking suggestively at Sbu, who paid no attention to her. She tried everything to get his attention, but nothing worked. Finally, Thando decided to ask him directly what she wanted to know. ‘So, Sbu,’ she said, reaching for her boyfriend’s hand. ‘Are you seeing anyone? I don’t ever remember reading about your girlfriend, who must be really good looking.’

‘I’m actually not seeing anyone at the moment. I’m just too busy,’ Sbu said.

Thando was unable to hide her smile at that response.

‘What about you, Qaqamba? Are you seeing anyone,’ Sbu asked.

I was surprised that he called my full name. No one called me by my full name anymore. I shook my head. ‘I’m single at the moment.’

Ed coughed, hiding laughter. He knew that Thando liked Sbu.

‘Maybe we could double date,’ Steve said.

‘No, I don’t think so,’ Thando said.

Steve looked at her. ‘Why not?’

‘Because Q is…’ She looked at me for assistance. I offered her none. I was enjoying seeing her squirm. ‘Q is not looking for anything serious at the moment.’

‘Neither am I,’ Sbu said. He winked at me.

Ed leaned towards me and whispered, ‘This is a little awkward.’

Things were turning upside down for Thando. She’d organised the dinner so that she could find a way to connect with Sbu and now her crush was hitting on me. Talk about awkward. I decided to put an end to it.

‘Who would like desserts,’ I asked. I stood and grabbed the plates from the table and went to the kitchen to get dessert. Thando joined me.

‘Oh, this is a disaster,’ she said. ‘Maybe he’s afraid of Steve. Maybe that’s why he’s ignoring me.’

‘Thando, he’s not interested,’ I said. ‘Leave the poor man alone. If you don’t, your boyfriend is gonna push him to me.’

‘Fine,’ she said. But I could see in her eyes that she was trying to come up with another plan to garner Sbu’s interest.

I shook my head. It was not my problem and I wasn’t going to make it mine. I served everyone desserts. I was sure I’ll never see Sbu again, but I was wrong. 

Good Problem

Thando came running into my office. She stopped at the door when she realised I had a meeting with my writing team. She was out of breath and she looked like she’d just seen a ghost.

I lifted my head when I saw her.

‘Excuse me, Q, I need to talk to you,’ she said. ‘It’s an emergency,’ she added, trying to get my attention.

I excused myself from the meeting, then led her to a conference room and closed the door behind us.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘I need your advice,’ she said. She appeared worried.

I wasn’t sure whether I should be worried or not. ‘I’m listening.’

‘Steve, you know Steve…’

‘Your boyfriend, Steve?’

‘Yes, that’s him. He decided it was about time I met the rest of his team, including his business partner.’

‘That’s a good thing, isn’t it?’

‘Yes… no… I don’t know,’ she said, exasperated.

‘If he trusts you with his business, it means he’s taking your relationship serious. So what is the problem?’

‘His business partner is the problem.’

Ed poked his head into the conference room. ‘Hey, Thando, what are you doing here? Finally decided to join the workforce?’

Thando frowned. ‘Please. Me? Working?’ She laughed for a short time as if that was the most ludicrous idea she’s ever heard, then she started worrying again. She grabbed Ed by the hand and closed the door behind him. ‘Come in. Two heads are better than one.’

‘So what’s up?’ Ed asked.

Thando started telling us her story.

Earlier that day at Steve’s Office

Thando waited for Steve’s team to join them in the boardroom. The two of them were early. They sat in the large room alone. Thando was nervous. She didn’t know what to expect. Would these people hate her? Would they feel like she was imposing on them? Would they tell her she knew nothing about business? She didn’t care; this was an opportunity for her to make a name for herself.

But what happened next was like nothing she had expected. A tall, handsome man walked into the boardroom. Thando was sure he was lost. He didn’t belong in the boardroom; he belonged on the glossy pages of a fashion magazine. But what happened next was weirder still.

Steve stood and welcomed the handsome stranger to the meeting. ‘Sbu, I’m glad you could make it,’ he said. He then proceeded to introduce Thando to the hot stranger named Sbu Langa.

Sbu took Thando’s hand, lifted it to his lips, and kissed the back of her hand. His hands were soft and his lips were warm. His lips stretched into a smile.

Thando felt a pleasant sensation in her tummy. She was sure that Sbu was taunting her. She found herself wondering what his tender lips tasted like. She started imagining kissing him and then she came to her senses. She moved her hand away from his and held on to the large, sturdy desk, not trusting her legs to hold her up anymore.

Back at Q & Ed’s Office

‘So you see what the problem is?’ Thando asked us after telling her story.

I shook my head, as my mouth was full of delicious biscuits I’d grabbed from a tray on wheels standing at the corner of the boardroom. I don’t know why they always insisted on serving biscuits to meetings.

‘I can’t fall for Steve’s business partner. What kind of a person would that make me?’ Thando lamented.

‘A whore,’ I said.

She shook her head. ‘No, that’s not it.’

‘A gold-digging whore?’ Ed said.

She shook her head again. ‘No.’

She stood and started pacing. ‘Aaaaagh! You guys are not helping! I came here for your help, for your insight!’ she screamed, exasperated.

Ed and I laughed.

‘Why don’t you get Q to take him out of your hands?’ Ed suggested.

I looked at Ed and frowned. ‘Excuse me?’

‘It’s a great solution. Q is single,’ Ed continued, ignoring me.

‘I’m sorry, Q, I can’t. If it were any other man…’ Then she was silent, thinking. Her eyes widened. ‘Q could take Steve out of my hands. Ed, it’s a brilliant idea!’

‘I’m sitting right here people,’ I said, but I was ignored.

‘No ways, Thando, you can’t shove your leftovers to Q,’ Ed said.

‘Why not? You said it yourself, she’s single.’

‘Again, I’m right here.’

Thando rushed to my side and squeezed my shoulders in an embrace. ‘Please, Q.’

I pushed her away from me and stood. ‘Absolutely not. This is you problem. Now you want to dump Steve, who only weeks ago, you were professing your love to and now you want to date his business partner and friend. This is a new low, even for you.’ And if Sbu was broke, you wouldn’t even like him, I wanted to add, but didn’t.

Thando sat and grabbed a biscuit from the plate. ‘I had a feeling you might feel this way, so I invited them both for dinner at our place.’

‘What?’

She smiled, sheepishly.

‘And who’s going to prepare this dinner?’ I don’t know why I asked, because I knew the answer to that question.

‘You know I can’t cook,’ Thando said. ‘But you two can. Please, I’m begging you.’

‘No,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ Ed said at the same time. ‘Of course, we’d love to. I’ll invite Matt also.’

I looked at him and shook my head. I stormed off. At times, I got tired of Thando freeloading on me. I sometimes wondered why I even put up with her. She paid the rent only when she wanted to. She never went grocery shopping. I was expected to do everything. I didn’t even know why I was friend with her.